Distance makes the heart grow even fonder

People say that the grass is greener on the other side. Living in New York City my entire life, I have my own lengthy list of complaints about my hometown. I have always scorned the crowds of tourists, resented the materialistic nature of the city, lamented the lack of trees and parks, and groaned about the inconvenience of public transportation. However, living away from home as a freshman in college — in an environment so different from what I am used to — I have come to appreciate the city, and the people back home who have influenced my life.

Coming back home during break has been one of the most valuable experiences of my life. It has taught me to never take for granted the security of familiarity and the love of my family.

As I approach the end of my first semester, I look back on the whirlwind of an adventure I have experienced. The first few weeks were nothing but fun, meeting new friends and professors, exploring the school, and joining extracurricular activities. Living away from home came with so much excitement. Transitioning from high school to college felt a lot easier than I had expected. During the first month of school, I was surprised by how quickly I took to the college experience. My school became like a second home to me, and the students in my dorm grew to be a second family.

The happiness I felt during the first month at college was almost too good to be true. The initial thrill of novelty soon began to wear off. What once was a beautiful walk to class, marveling at the landscape around me, became a long trek and daily chore. The enthusiasm I had for my new classes soon diminished and suddenly, I realized that school will always be school. There seemed to be so much to do during the first few weeks at school, but all the activities seemed to disappear or be trumped by the priority of schoolwork. The homework began to pile up. The friends I made early on were rarely seen during the day. I suddenly felt lonely and desperately homesick.

Up until to this point, my college experience had seemed much like a summer camp, down to even toasting marshmallows around a fire during orientation. All along, being at college had seemed like a temporary ordeal. I would be living away from home for a short period of time and my purpose was to live the storybook college experience. However, after a month living in this made-up fantasy, the reality sunk in that college was a much more permanent situation. The homesickness I felt now had always been in me. It was only realized when my new life had settled into a routine.

I found myself longing to be back home in the city. What used to bother me about the Big Apple soon became aspects I missed most dearly. I loved my college, because it was a utopia of sorts — but I pined for the drama of the big city. I also missed my best friends from home and my family. I had been communicating with them, actually quite frequently, but I sensed that a distance was developing between us. I longed to talk to my friends face-to-face and sit at the dining table with my parents and chat about our days.

Luckily for me, my homesickness was only short-lived, for I had the opportunity to go home during study break. Returning was an emotional experience. When I embraced my parents for the first time in a month, I was filled with mixed emotions. It came to me that much time had passed since I had last seen them. Yet, I was blessed for the opportunity I had to talk to them. The time I did spend with my family was often more meaningful than our usual time together when I was still living at home. Rather than bolting from the dining room table after dinner, this time, I lingered. All I wanted was to hear my parents’ voices, tell them stories about my college life, and hear whatever advice they could offer.

Being in the city for a short period of time truly inspired me to fully utilize my time. Rather than moping around or surfing the web, I did not waste a second. I enjoyed dinner with my grandmother and my cousin, who is also a college student. We rekindled our relationship over a Peking duck dinner in Flushing. I spent another evening catching up over sushi with my best friend from elementary school. An afternoon was spent on a shopping spree, an activity I never thought I would miss so dearly.

Another day, I played tourist in the Lower East Side, seeing the city in a completely different way. My parents and I ate our way through the neighborhood. I had my first pastrami sandwich at Katz’s Deli and my first bialy. We relished pickles from Pickle Guys, classy donuts at the Doughnut Plant, and expensive gelato at Il Laboratorio del Gelato.

By the end of my visit in New York City, I recognized that, while the city was home, I did have a strong connection to my college. I realized that the animated stories I told my friends and family at home about my college experience stemmed from my love and pride for my school. My constant remembrance of my dorm-mates, even bringing back bagels and lox for them, reminded me that I had made close friends. The time was right for me to return to college.

I am fortunate that my college is not too far from home. Hence, as the holidays approach, I am more than thrilled to be returning home again. I no longer take for granted the beautiful city I call home. The time I spend there with friends and family will be more memorable than ever. This trip home will be one of appreciation for the place and people who have allowed me to expand my horizons and soar.

Aglaia Ho is a freshman at Williams College and a native New Yorker.

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