Dating and the single parent

Dating can be complicated — singles often need the help of friends, family, and, perhaps, a professional to help sort things out. Dating can be even more complicated when you or your potential dates have children.

For just one moment, forget that you’re a parent and think about yourself. This can be hard, especially for a custodial parent, since so much time and energy goes into raising kids.

If you are thinking about getting back on the dating scene, it helps to use your free time during the week to go out and meet people. Think about what it is you want out of life, and then go out and get it.

They say that misery loves company — but no one really wants to date or even befriend a miserable person, so do the things that make you happy.

Here’s how single parents can keep their priorities straight while navigating the tricky world of dating:

Make time for yourself

The kids may keep you busy, but make sure to remember that you need some “me” time.

“You have to remember to make time for yourself; to be around other adults and to do adult things,” says Mario, a widower raising kids in Astoria.

He says his schedule is so jam-packed sometimes that all he can do is meet his love interests for coffee and conversation, but says that most of the women he dates are understanding.

“But I also let them know that I am ready for a serious relationship, if the right one comes along.”

Good for Mario — he is meeting potential mates, knows what he wants and has a plan that doesn’t interfere with his parenting to make it happen.

Have fun

What do you want out of life this week — to make it to the gym? It could be that your true love is waiting for you there. Keeping your commitments to do things for yourself will help you to find a relationship that might work for you. Even better if you are doing things that you love, because it gives that special someone a chance to meet you when you are happy. Things are likely to go better when you are enjoying life, because the law of attraction is working in your favor. People that are happy attract more happy people to themselves.

Volunteer

If you are looking for a friendship based on mutual interests that might go somewhere, a connection through a group activity or volunteering might work.

Bronx resident Linda says she met her husband at the perfect time.

“When I wasn’t looking. It was the furthest thing from my mind,” she says. The couple met doing volunteer work for an environmental organization in New York and has been married for what Linda calls, “The best 12 years of my life.”

Online dating

According to statistics, about 20 million people have been to a dating site at least once. In looking for love, it can be nerve-wracking to create a profile, but it is an important piece of getting people to react and want to meet you in person.

Dating sites like SingleParent.com are specifically for single parents.

A positive attitude, intelligence and high self-esteem are key in getting dates.

The online dating site eHarmony celebrated its 10 year anniversary in 2010 and reported on average, 540 eHarmony couples get married every day, up from 90 couples per day in 2006.

Most men using the site say that they are looking for a woman who appreciates them “for who they are and who’s not going to try to change them,” says Greg Waldorf, the company’s CEO.

Women, apparently, are looking to find men who are dependable, reliable and good communicators — someone who tells the truth.

“You tend to find those things, interestingly, no matter where you travel, no matter where you go…I can say this based on [research from] Asian countries, North America, South America…these are really universal qualities,” says Waldorf.

However, there is always a risk in meeting someone in person when the relationship started online. Be on the lookout for scam artists and people that want to meet offline too quickly. It is better to use the dating site as a buffer to keep from giving out your personal information too soon. According to OKCupid — the Google of online dating — height is one of the top three things American men lie about on online dating sites, while women are more likely to lie about their weight and build.

. . .

Ultimately, dating is not up to the children and is not about the children. But, it if you are a single parent looking for long-term love, it may be better to mingle with people who have kids, want kids, or don’t mind if you have kids. Kids can be a deal breaker, even for those skilled in the art of finding love.

Candi Sparks is the author of the “Can I Have Some Money?” book series. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook as Candi Sparks (writer).

Relevant Directory Listings

See More

Fieldston Summer Camps

<p>Fieldston Summer Camps provide a fun, eventful summer for all ages. Fieldston Outdoors, Fieldston Sports Camp, Fieldston Premier Sports, Fieldston Future Leaders Camp, Fieldston Emerging Leaders Camp, and Fieldston Expeditions Camp are comprehensive programs covering a spectrum of subjects and interests designed to engage campers. Our programs and classes range from outdoor adventure to educational, sports, and STEAM programs. All camps are held at our campus in Riverdale, with the exception of Fieldston Expeditions Camp, which takes place at locations across the country.</p> <p> </p>

KTBYTE

<div><strong>Computer Science Coding Classes for Children </strong></div> <div> </div> <p>Ages 8 - 18</p> <p>Enroll today for a FREE Trial and our Summer and School Year Course Offerings!</p> <p>Differentiated and Individualized Learning with our Caring and Knowledgeable Staff!</p> <p>Offer YOUR child the competitive advantage of learning a new language and also using STEM to learn and have fun! </p> <p> </p> <div> <div id="m_3428097911001171987ktbyte-vision"> <p><strong>The KTBYTE vision</strong></p> <p>At KTBYTE, our vision is to make a high-quality Computer Science (CS) education accessible to students globally while also making CS exciting and engaging for them!</p> </div> <div id="m_3428097911001171987diffsimilar"> <p><strong>The KTBYTE Difference</strong></p> <p>KTBYTE offers a progressive Computer Science curriculum for students ages 8-18 years old. Classes range from introductory JavaBlocks™ programming to college-level courses. KTBYTE offers classes that stand out from the standard Core Curriculum for high-school students, with unique programs such as USACO prep courses, Generative Art and Design courses, and even Machine Learning courses. Our instructors are dedicated, nurturing and passionate about what they do and committed to ensuring that KTBYTE students are exposed to an unparalleled, dynamic, educational and engaging CS learning experience! Register today for a <a href="https://www.ktbyte.com/freetrial" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.ktbyte.com/freetrial&source=gmail&ust=1622725037124000&usg=AFQjCNED2R673ZzKakJOtaGSycFpwW73uw">Free Trial</a> and experience the KTBYTE Difference!</p> </div> <div id="m_3428097911001171987aluminiaccomp"> <p><strong>KTBYTE Alumni Accomplishments</strong></p> <p>KTBYTE alums consistently outperform their peers in terms of their academic accomplishments. KTBYTE students ace their AP CS courses and exams and are also incredibly successful through the competitive college admissions process. KTBYTE students have been accepted to numerous Ivy League and competitive colleges and universities including but not limited to Brown, Carnegie Mellon, UChicago, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Duke, Harvard, Johns Hopkins, MIT, UPenn, Princeton, Tufts, Yale, and many more!</p> </div> <div id="m_3428097911001171987shorttermbenef"> <p><strong>What Makes the KTBYTE Course Experience Unique?</strong></p> <p>At KTBYTE, all of our instructors are highly qualified and experienced, educational professionals who differentiate learning and offer KTBYTE students a multitude of opportunities for individualized instruction by spending hours each week preparing for each specialty class that they teach in order to offer a dynamic, engaging and fun educational course interaction for every KTBYTE student. Through our Virtual Machines, our instructors are able to see exactly what is on your child’s screen throughout every class, and as such are easily able to assist your child through any obstacle that may arise. At KTBYTE, our nurturing, knowledgeable and caring teaching staff anticipate and identify when a student may be struggling with a problem even before the student decides to ask a question about it.</p> </div> <div id="m_3428097911001171987whoareinstructors"> <p><strong>What Sets the KTBYTE Teaching Team Apart?</strong></p> <p>KTBYTE instructors are college and post-college working professionals with extensive backgrounds in computer science. At the highest level, our artificial intelligence classes are taught by a graduate sutdent in AI. Each of our teaching professionals is passionate about igniting a love for learning in your child by presenting Computer Science concepts in practical ways which offer the student the opportunity to see Computer Science at work in recognizable applications from daily life. Every class, regardless of level will be individualized and differentiated to ensure your child’s success!</p> </div> </div>

Young Actors at Strasberg

<p>Young Actors at Strasberg offers a comprehensive array of acting programs for students in grades 2 – 12. Classes provide kids and teens with a foundation in Lee Strasberg's Method Acting and the tools to succeed in the professional industry – all while maintaining a fun and playful environment. Programs are tailored to encompass students at all levels, from those just beginning their acting journey to Broadway veterans and professional child actors. Young Actors at Strasberg alumni include Lady Gaga, Sophia Lillis, Angelina Jolie, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson and Rosario Dawson!</p> <p>Young Actors Programs are available online and in-person at our New York Campus, located in Union Square. Saturday, After-School and Online classes are offered during the traditional school year (Fall, Winter, and Spring) and Monday through Friday day camps and intensives are held in July and August.</p> <p><strong>About The Lee Strasberg Theatre & Film Institute:</strong></p> <p>Founded in 1969 by Lee and Anna Strasberg, The Lee Strasberg Theatre & Film Institute is the only school that teaches Lee Strasberg's work in its complete and authentic form. The Institute's goal is to provide students with a craft that will help them create a reality and respond truthfully in imaginary circumstances, regardless of the style or form of material being used. LSTFI is proud to have award-winning alumni from around the world working as writers, directors, and actors in all mediums.</p>