Every country, work environment, and family has a distinctive culture. Culture is a combination of the look, feel, and mood of an environment. How do people interact with each other? What do they do and not do? What do they talk about? What do they avoid? How much fun do they have? For families, a positive culture is the glue that keeps everyone close and is the motivator for kids to want to invite their friends over and to want to spend time at home!
So, what can families do to create a more meaningful and positive family culture? Here are three steps:
Describe your family culture now
Take a few minutes and write out three descriptive words to describe your current family culture. Try finishing this sentence: “Our family culture is…” (Examples: positive, relaxed, stressed, overworked, or chaotic.)
Then, ask each of your family members (including your kids and spouse) the same question. This will provide clarity on what your starting point is. There are no right and wrong answers to this question, but don’t be surprised if your description of your family isn’t the same. The descriptive words are just each person’s perception, but will provide powerful clues for what to do differently to make it more meaningful.
Dream about what you WANT your family culture to be
Next, write out three words to describe how you would want your family culture to be (relaxed, organized, fun, playful, or safe, etc.). Ask your kids and spouse to do so as well, and don’t be surprised if your kids say they want the family culture to be more playful and relaxed. (Those are common answers from kids and a good reminder for us parents.) Once you have everyone’s answers, talk as a family and see if you can identify your top three family values and character traits.
Think about solutions
Brainstorm as a family about what changes (big and small) need to happen to help cultivate a more positive culture. For example, if a family has decided it wants to have more fun, action steps could be:
• Kids and parents planning more “fun” activities.
• Kids helping out more with weekly chores to reduce parents’ load, and therefore reducing the workload and having more time for fun.
• Parents not turning on their home computer in the evening.
• Doing a movie and pizza night every Sunday night.
• Parents encouraging kids to bring friends over, giving them space and promising not to ask hundreds of questions.
Or, if a family has decided it wants to be more socially responsible, action steps could be:
• Volunteering as a family at a local charity.
• Everyone going through their clothes and giving unused items to a family in need.
When families do these three steps, it starts the process for members to feel part of a team where culture is purposeful and meaningful!
