A month ago, we took a brief family trip to Carillon Beach
on the Florida Panhandle to
attend a wedding on the Southern side of my family. The most flattering thing
happened. The father of the bride (my cousin Steve) took me aside the day
before the wedding and asked me to read and edit the speech he prepared to
honor his daughter. Of all the editing assignments I’ve had this year,
this was the most memorable—and the most delicate. —
If Steve had asked me to do this 15 years ago, I probably
would have risen to the task with undue seriousness, and suggested a few wording
changes to more precisely reflect what I imagined his feelings to be. But
now that I’m a dad myself, with a girl who turns 12 in a few days, I’m a little
more clued into the ways of the fatherly heart. In the last 15 years, I’ve
also hopefully learned a few more things about editing and authenticity. My cousin is the successful owner of a bedding
and furniture business in Montgomery, Alabama. He’s
quite capable of expressing his feelings. He’s also about as pleasant and
classy a person as they come. I read his draft and I loved it.
“I don’t think you should change one word,” I told him.
“Really?” he asked, with genuine surprise.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t change a thing,” I answered. “My only
concern is I have no idea how you’re going to get through this without tearing
up.”
A post-script: Back in
New York, I now find myself
thinking about my daughter’s bat mitzvah, even though it’s a year away. I’ve been considering what I’m going to say to honor her at the big event. So far I have an intro,
which I’ve already tested by presenting to Elena herself. Cue the
lights and music…
“One word comes right to mind when I
think of my amazing daughter: SLACKER!”
I joke, of course. It’s too early
for me to start taking this seriously—or sentimentally…
Tears to come.
––Eric Messinger
