Forget the Resolutions: An Expert Shares Year-Round Tips
In this article, you’ll learn:
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Why it’s okay to let go of New Year’s resolutions, and how meaningful growth can happen in small, gentle ways all year long.
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Simple shifts that support busy moms, like focusing on what you can add to your life and grounding yourself in gratitude for what’s already working.
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Realistic, doable ways to feel less overwhelmed, including setting attainable goals, carving out time for yourself, and creating boundaries that protect your energy.
How many times have you created a resolution and ooff you either forgot you made one or worse, you dont keep it, and you feel bad about it?
Leah Wiseman Fink, founder of The Spark Society, a community for women in NYC, and a life coach who works with everyone from corporate leaders to new moms, believes resolutions are overrated. “I understand why people get hung up on January 1st, but what does it mean anyway?” she says. “Whether it’s January or June, why not think about where you want to be right now? You’ll get there either way.”
We chatted with Leah, who isn’t really a fan of resolutions but believes there are other ways to change your life, regardless of the time of year. This month, don’t worry if you do not have a laundry list of changes or goals you want to accomplish. Instead, focus on what is possible at any time of the year.
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There is always this pressure to make sweeping changes in the New Year. What does it mean to go “no resolutions,” and what are small ways a person can start to feel good about where they are in life?
One thing I’d recommend is to think about what you can add instead of what you can subtract. For example, instead of thinking about subtracting pounds, can you think about adding some health goals? And to continue with the health metaphor, instead of trying to cut out all sugar, get to the gym every day, and stop drinking, can you do one out of the three?
Another thing I am a big fan of is the list of appreciation. I often have my clients write down a list of 10 things they are grateful for daily. It makes a big difference in the mindset of knowing what you already have, and being settled and appreciative of what you have will naturally catapult you to the next level.
When in a rut, the kind you don’t even know how to start to get out, what are the first steps someone can take to climb out?
Although being in that space is rough, a small change is all you need to get started. In terms of the specifics, here are some tips.
Identify where you want to be, phone a friend, and ask for help.
Pinpoint a goal, whether big or small and then take steps to get there. I always suggest tangible goals, like signing up for a race.
Feel free to plan backward; what are the short workouts you have to do to get the harder ones? And build up from there. This can be applied to anything: a career move, finding a relationship, or a big move.
Remember -the only thing that will keep you stuck is not doing anything at all, so take a deep breath; you got this, and whether it is enormous strides or small steps, you are moving forward.
What are examples of realistic goals a person can make to feel less frazzled mentally?
Carving out time for yourself is essential, even in small ways like not reaching for your phone first thing in the morning. Then, I urge people to block out time in their schedules for things that fill them up. Can you drink a glass of water and stretch instead of worrying even for five minutes? Is there a dance class you can take? Can you get your partner to watch the kids so you can get out and grab drinks with friends?
Try an afternoon nap or, even in a minor way, a walk around the block. The chunks of time don’t have to be huge, but they do have to be consistent.
Many people, especially moms, have challenges with creating boundaries. What are some healthy ways to develop them?
I define boundaries by figuring out what you want and not letting anything get in the way. Boundaries can be tough because in keeping with what is best for yourself, you sometimes make another person uncomfortable. To reference the sometimes-overused analogy, you must put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on anyone else.
Leah Wiseman Fink is a coach, mom, and founder of The Spark Society, where NYC women build real connections. With a background in education, leadership, and entrepreneurship, she helps women rediscover their worth and their spark. Learn more at leahwisemanfink.com. Visit thesparksociety.co to learn about a January vision board class.
