Editor’s Note: November has been designated National Adoption Month,
making it a great time for those considering adoption to learn more
about the process. We asked Helene Lauffer of Spence-Chapin Adoption
Services to offer potential adoptive parents an overview of today’s
adoption landscape.
The adoption field has changed in unimaginable ways over the past century, as society has changed its views about child welfare, out-of-wedlock parenting, infertility and even the definition of family. Most significantly, we have moved from decades of great stigma and secrecy surrounding adoption to an era of much greater understanding of its benefits and complexities. Parents interested in exploring adoption have three choices: international, private domestic and foster care adoption through the public system. This article addresses the first two programmatic choices; New Yorkers interested in learning more about our local foster care system should start by visiting nyc.gov.
Compared to several decades ago, adoption is in some ways easier and in some ways more difficult to pursue as a path to parenting. Here is what you need to know about adoption in 2010.
Why Easier?
Adoption has become more mainstream. Approximately 60% of Americans have a personal connection to adoption (adoptioninstitute.org). Walking around New York City, it is visible in the pairings of parents and children across racial and ethnic lines. This is in part due to the increase in international adoptions, which hit a peak of close to 23,000 to the U.S. in 2004.
Adoption is much less stigmatized. People openly talk about their infertility experiences and their adoptions with their families, their colleagues, and ultimately their children.
Adoption is more accessible. Information about adopting internationally, domestically or through the foster care system is easy to find on the Internet.
Why More Difficult?
Adoption presents a wide array of choices. Potential adoptive parents are challenged to assess, decipher and synthesize these choices in order to determine what kind of adoption is best for their family.
Adoption takes time. Some of that time involves paperwork and clearances. Some of it is used for education about adoptive parenting. Some of it is just waiting: waiting to be picked by a birth mother in the case of domestic adoption, or waiting through the many steps of the process in an international adoption.
Adoption can be expensive. Costs
vary considerably depending on the process and the provider and, in the
case of international, the country of origin of the child. It is
important to understand costs, payment and refund policies and time
frames for payment before beginning the process.
Adoption involves risk. Risk
that a birth parent will back out of the process, risk that a country
will close to adoption mid-process, and risk related to the medical,
developmental and emotional welfare of the child who is adopted. Working
with an experienced, accredited and licensed agency or other adoption
professional will help ensure that your process is as smooth as
possible.
What You Need to Know About International Adoption
•International
adoption appeals to families who have a broad world view and who are
interested in embracing the history, culture and traditions of an
adopted child’s birth country.
•International travel is usually required at some point in the process.
•International adoption
is volatile; countries open and close due to complex issues of politics,
economics and social factors. It is important to stay informed.
•Eligibility criteria
vary by country and have become more stringent; few countries allow
singles or gays and lesbians to parent, and many have strict
requirements about medical and psychological history, marital status and
other factors.
•Many
countries are stepping up to the challenge of promoting and
facilitating adoptions in-country; as a result, the children available
for international placement tend to be older and/or with special needs.
•The
process is paperwork-intensive in order to meet the requirements of U.S
and foreign governments, and wait times are increasing.
•Most international adoptions require the intervention and support of an accredited and licensed agency.
What You Need to Know About Domestic Adoption
•Most families adopting domestically are adopting infants.
•Domestic
adoption is increasingly about some level of openness between adoptive
families and birth families—a trend that is viewed positively by most
professionals and by many adoptive families who have ongoing contact
with birth families.
•It
is typical for birth parents to choose the family who will parent their
children. Gays, lesbians and singles can apply through the domestic
process.
•Here in New York, adoptions can be facilitated by an agency or by an attorney working with an independent home study provider.
•The
Internet has become an important conduit in connecting birth families
and adoptive parents directly or through agencies and attorneys. As with
all transactions on the Internet, caution must be taken to be sure that
you know and can trust the people with whom you are working.
How to Get Started
If
you know people in your family and community who have adopted, talk to
them to learn about their experiences and to get referrals for adoption
professionals who they trust and respect. Attend information sessions,
open houses or webinars designed to orient families to the process.
Explore adoption literature to hear stories of families who have
experienced infertility or other journeys similar to yours and who have
been successful in building their families through adoption.
Spence-Chapin, a
not-for-profit, non-sectarian adoption agency working in the New York
metropolitan area, has been helping form families through adoption for
more than 100 years. It is located at 410 East 92nd Street. For more
information, visit spencechapin.org.
If you’re interested in supporting adoptive families, one organization
we love is HelpUsAdopt.org, which provides grants and financial
assistance to those hoping to adopt. They’re hosting a family-friendly
fundraising event on November 13—find out more here.
International Adoption:
Popular And Recently Closed Countries
In
terms of international programs, the era of countries with large
sending programs appears to be over. In the future, we are likely to see
a number of small and medium-sized programs. Below is a list of
countries many parents are adopting from today (eligibility criteria
vary; learn more about particular country requirements at
adoption.state.gov), along with a list of previously popular but
recently closed countries:
Currently Popular: Ethiopia, South Korea, Russia, China
Recently Closed: Guatemala, Vietnam, Kazakhstan, Nepal
—H. L.
