Teaching Your Kids to Live in the Moment
Summer fun doesn’t have to end when the back-to-school ads come on TV. According to Dr. Susan Bartell, an NYC-area child psychologist, too much back-to-school planning in August can make kids feel rushed into the next season, even before the current one is over. Teach your kids to live in the moment with these helpful tips.
As the stores begin stocking back-to-school clothing and notebooks, it’s hard not to start thinking about the end of summer. Before we know it, school will be back in swing, and the barefoot, carefree, sunny days will be long gone…sigh!
Of course, it is important to plan ahead in order to get school supplies at a great sale price. In addition, it’s important to help your child get accustomed to the idea that school, routines, hectic schedules, and cooler weather will all be here soon.
But…before boxing up the bathing suits and taking out the sweaters, let’s not rush into the fall and winter. It’s very important to teach kids the value of living in the moment and appreciating the experience at hand, before rushing ahead to the next thing. So, please, take the time to really enjoy the last weeks of summer together with your child. There are many different ways to live in the moment, right now — and here are just a few tips to help you do it:
- Resist the urge to unpack and try fall clothing on your child before the first day of school. It may be convenient for you to see if your child has grown a size over the summer, but for kids, it’s a sign to move on to the next thing. Rather, wait until a week or so before school starts. This will give you and your child a little time to plan without rushing the summer along.
- Limit school supply shopping with your child to one or two specific outings — don’t make it the focus of every day until school starts. If there’s a lot to get done, do some of it without your child so that she can continue to be in that summer mode.
- Spend even less time than usual watching TV, or watch recorded shows so that you can fast-forward through the commercials. TV ads for back-to-school products become overwhelmingly prolific in August. This advertising pressure can be stressful for you and your child, pushing you out of summer mode before you are ready.
- Encourage your child to stay focused on the summer fun at hand by limiting conversations about school to once a day — at bedtime or first thing in the morning.
- Regularly ask your child to name activities or experiences that she or he has enjoyed, or is looking forward to enjoying this summer. Discussing these will help you and your child stay focused on the summer “moment” in which you are still living.
- When your child is in earshot, spend as little time as possible talking about back-to-school with other adults (in person or on the phone). Your child will pick up on the conversation and it will make it more difficult for him to focus on enjoying the rest of the summer.
- As the end of summer truly arrives (and teacher assignments land in the mail), plan one or two really fun summer activities. Even as you are preparing for the transition into school, remind your child that there are still days of summer left to appreciate — time to run through the sprinkler barefoot and eat that last piece of watermelon.
Dr. Susan Bartell is a nationally recognized child psychologist, speaker, and award-winning author. Her latest book is “The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask.” You can learn more about Dr. Bartell at www.drsusanbartell.com.