Here’s what Dr. Levine recommends parents can do to help their children find solutions to everyday problems. For the full list, see her book Teach Your Children Well.
Create a little necessity in your child’s life. If you always bring a snack to your daughter before soccer practice, don’t do it for her from time to time. Tell her the night before that she will need to provide her own snack and let her figure out how to get the juice and banana herself. Keep these challenges age appropriate.
Share your solutions to your own everyday problems. If you forgot your suit at the cleaner’s, say a few words about how you feel and how you will solve the problem. Let kids know that minor frustrations are part of everyday life but that dwelling on frustration gets in the way of coming up with solutions.
Show your children that there is no single “right” way to solve most problems. Sometimes being resourceful means plugging away at something; sometimes it means taking a break; sometimes it means figuring things out on your own; and sometimes it means consulting others.
Teach your child how to self-soothe (close your eyes and take a breath; count to ten; go outside and take a walk) so that emotions don’t dictate choices. A quiet mind is able to marshal resources far more easily than an agitated one.
To read our full story on Madeline Levine’s new book, click here.
