While You Were Sleeping

Before I got pregnant, I heard about the dreams. Expectant friends would describe nightmares during which their babies came out looking like Pee Wee Herman or one of those flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz. One mom I know had a recurring dream where she would take her baby out mid-pregnancy, realize he wasn’t fully formed yet, then frantically attempt to put him back in again. The dream ended with her carrying her fetus around in her shirt and hoping no one noticed.

I haven’t had any of those weird baby dreams yet. What have recently come as a surprise to me, however, are the husband dreams.

I should start by saying that in real life my husband is an angel. He is loving and faithful and kind, he does more than his fair share of housework, and he’s been running around the corner to satisfy my 10 p.m. ice cream cravings since long before we even thought about having a baby.

But in my dream life, my husband has been a real louse lately. It all started with the dream where I began noticing photos of him scattered throughout all my favorite catalogs. When I asked whether he had embarked on a new career as a clothing model, he replied, “Yes, and it’s none of your business.”

Then there was the string of dreams where he kept leaving me—to tour the country with a newgrass band (“we probably won’t be back in time for the delivery”); to scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef (“we can Skype once a month, okay?”); to run away with a woman from his office, with a woman from his hometown, with a woman from down the street. The worst part is when the dream cuts back to me, at home and unsuspecting. Inevitably I’m sitting on the couch in sweats, eating ice cream and watching Supernanny.

Have you ever heard that Ben Folds song, “Trusted”? The one where he says of the girl, “She’s gonna be pissed when she wakes up, for terrible things I did to her in her dreams?” Well it seems I’ve become that girl. I kick my husband awake in the middle of the night and berate him for his latest infraction: “How could you? I am carrying your child!” And each time, all he can do is sigh and tell me, “Katie, I didn’t do that.”

But I’ve decided to take control of the situation. Now, whenever my dream husband does something truly awful, and I wake up with that I’m-gonna-kick-him-awake-and-give-him-a-piece-of-my-mind feeling, I’m going to resist. Instead I will think about how lucky we are—me and this baby, that is. I’ll remind myself that instead of modeling J. Crew’s spring line, this father-to-be is snapping belly shots; that instead of going on tour, he’s already picking out silly lullabies on his guitar; that instead of scuba diving a thousand miles away, he’s planning to fit one of these over our bathtub faucet; and that instead of running away, he is happily devoted to us, ice cream and Supernanny addictions notwithstanding.

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OASIS DAY CAMP LIU POST – Long Island

<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>Give Your Child A Lifetime of Memories At A Beautiful Summer Oasis</strong></p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><strong>25 AMAZING SUMMERS, LIFELONG FRIENDS!</strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal">A traditional day camp in every way, Oasis prides itself on quality programming at parent-friendly prices with the most well trained, caring staff in the industry. Oasis LIU Post Beautiful 300-acre campus, over 90 activities for kids 3-16, Sports, Daily Swim, Enrichment + Teen Travel,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">  </span>air-conditioned indoor facilities, and the great outdoor green shady fields and athletic facilities! Daily hot lunch, snacks and transportation options.</p>

Mosholu Day Camp

<p dir="ltr">For over 80 years, Mosholu Day Camp has been providing affordable, quality camping to children from all over the Bronx, Manhattan, Rockland & Westchester. Our picturesque facility sits on beautiful Lake Cohasset in Harriman State Park. It offers children a place to develop, experience, and enjoy the nature around them, while taking part in unforgettable outdoor summer activities. </p> <p dir="ltr">Mosholu offers campers more, while you pay less. As a camp that focuses on traditional activities our goal is to give children unforgettable experiences and lifelong friendships. The camp has expert staff and top-notch facilities. Mosholu is a safe and nurturing environment filled with exciting activities and adventures for all ages. Director, Mike Halpern brings over 40 years of camping, teaching and childcare experiences and along with an amazing leadership team, built a program that allows campers to learn and thrive.</p> <p dir="ltr">The camp provides a nurturing environment where campers have an opportunity to enjoy activities (like music, arts, sports, and special programs), while a special focus is placed on swimming, where campers begin to develop and improve water familiarity and swimming skills take part in row boats, kayaks and an amazing waterpark. The camp has an amazing challenge and ropes course area with a number of challenges including a rock wall, zip line, tree climbing and rope swing. Campers gain independence while supervised by counselors who understand the needs of emerging tween campers.</p> <p dir="ltr">Mosholu is a “funtastic” place where campers make new friends, are creative, focus on sports and arts, and have a positive experience. Counselors are college-aged and older, and are directly supervised by adult professional child care workers who are in tune to the campers' needs. There are tons of inter-camp games and parties, as well as cookouts and a water balloon sling shot area where campers stay cool and laugh. </p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">Mosholu Day Camp offers bus service (included in the price) from all over Westchester, Upper Manhattan, The Bronx and Rockland. It is an amazing camp experience at an amazing price!  It is a place where memories are made that last a lifetime!<span id="docs-internal-guid-be08b0e8-7fff-e32f-eaed-a8310d12ec1f"></span></p>

Mark Morris Summer Dance Camps

<div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; line-height: 1.38; background-color: #ffffff;">Fill your summer with dance, music, and art! The School at the Mark Morris Dance Center’s multi-disciplinary camps for all levels provide a full day of activities from dance with live music to visual art. Students will explore a variety of dance styles and techniques, including ballet, modern, hip-hop, jazz, African, and more. Campers will also learn about Mark Morris’s choreography and use concepts to create their own dances. Summer camps are for children ages 6 to 12. Teen workshops are offered for teens ages 13 to 18. </div> <div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; line-height: 1.38; background-color: #ffffff;"> </div> <div dir="ltr" style="font-family: Calibri, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; line-height: 1.38; background-color: #ffffff;"> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The School at the Mark Morris Dance Center, located in the heart of the Brooklyn Cultural District, is affiliated with the world-renowned Mark Morris Dance Group.</span></p> <span id="docs-internal-guid-c6f61b6b-7fff-a6ca-680e-4a00b4f96c17"></span>Click <a title="https://markmorrisdancegroup.org/dance-center/the-school/dance-camps/summer-camps/?utm_source=BK_Family&utm_medium=Online_camp_guide&utm_campaign=2022" href="https://markmorrisdancegroup.org/dance-center/the-school/dance-camps/summer-camps/?utm_source=BK_Family&utm_medium=Online_camp_guide&utm_campaign=2022" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://markmorrisdancegroup.org/dance-center/the-school/dance-camps/summer-camps/?utm_source%3DBK_Family%26utm_medium%3DOnline_camp_guide%26utm_campaign%3D2022&source=gmail&ust=1640130755643000&usg=AOvVaw0q9f6xU93Ga6SFvt9_fQT6">here</a> for more information and to register, or email <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">[email protected]</a>.</div>