Family financial planning is a good idea, but what about plans and goals for the emotional aspects of family life? Like what you hope most for in your relationship with your kids, and with your spouse or partner? My kids, ages 15 and 11, are both away at sleepaway camp so, not coincidentally, more of my attention is on my wife—and on us solely, rather than the us that focuses on the children. On Sunday afternoon, during a walk along the Hudson, I basically asked myself: What do I want out of my marriage if, hopefully, it lasts for another bunch of decades?
My first thought was that I want all the things that family life provides for our children, which was so funny to me because it was so different from my starting point years ago, when I mostly thought of being with someone who I loved and enjoyed and wanted to commit to and marry.
Then I challenge myself to think it through again, focusing on marriage as the kids get older.
My best guess? That I’m in this for the special experience of sharing the joys and challenges of life with a companion (and this companion in particular).
Second reason (related): That it’s one of life’s treats to be so incredibly privy to another’s experience.
Trite stuff? Not sure. But I find these ideas to be very comforting and hopeful.
Eric Messinger is the editor of New York Family. He can be reached at [email protected]
