If ever there’s a subject where parental influence veers awfully close to brainwashing, it’s politics, isn’t it? Most of us share the political preferences of our parents and the communities we were raised in–and it goes on that way through adulthood. Contrarians are so rare as to almost seem like genetic anomalies. But if you’re a Republican in a Democratic extended family, there’s a good chance your children will be Republicans too (and vice versa).
So, not coincidentally, my children think of themselves as Democrats and Barack Obama supporters. But I think the last word on how we should cultivate our children’s political thinking belongs to a friend of mine, who is more Republican-leaning than not (though I haven’t checked in with him about the upcoming election).
A few years ago, we were out to dinner with our spouses–new friends–because our children were in the same nursery school. As the topic gingerly turned toward politics, he explained his formative thinking.
I’m paraphrasing, but the gist of it was that his father was a union guy, and every night at the dinner table he’d insist on discussing the news with his kids, requiring them all to think about the issues and form an opinion.
“He was the one who wanted me to think,” my friend said, laughing. “So I thought about it, and, over time, I decided that I saw a lot of things differently.”
That’s the ultimate gift we can give a child, of course: independence of mind and spirit, bolstered by our respect and love.
Even in politics, alas.
Eric Messinger is Editor of New York Family. He can be reached at [email protected]
