The Parenting Spectrum

This year, I had
the great honor of serving as one of the 30 judges for Books for a Better Life–an awards program established to honor works in the self-help, motivational, self-improvement, and advice categories.
The books in each of the ten categories have
changed the lives of millions of readers, and their authors have become major forces in
American culture. My task was to review four books in the childcare/parenting category: Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother by Xinran, The Whole-Brain Child
by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., 10 Mindful Minutes by Goldie Hawn, and Battle Hymn of
the Tiger Mother
by Amy Chua. As I am
currently preparing to play the role of Mom, I enthusiastically accepted
the position and was eager to read these books that were already at the top of
my list. — 

I began with the controversial Battle Hymn of the Tiger
Mother
.
I’d made some earlier commentary on this
book on my socialsklz:-) social media outlets when it initially came out, and
received my very first anonymous “hate” email from a self-proclaimed tiger
mom. At the same time, I was reading another book that many socialsklz:-) parents have suggested to me: The Blessing
of A Skinned Knee
by Wendy Mogel, Ph.D. They are two diametrically opposed books on parenting and I found myself
utterly confused after reading such contradictory expert advice.

I began thinking: Where along the spectrum should my parenting style fall? What kind of parent should I be? There were aspects of both books that I found
compelling and convincing, yet other themes that I found outlandish. However, as I read, I did find one common theme: each of the books, in its own unique way,
professes that children must be taught many of the essential life skills that I
spend my days teaching, not as a parent, but as an instructor at socialsklz:-)

Honor parents
and adults
.

Have
self-confidence and believe in yourself
.

Have a good work
ethic
.

Be prepared for
the future with skills that will help to socially and emotionally navigate
life
.

The authors of
these two books are both highly respected in their careers and are mothers with well-adjusted and successful children.
While I pondered
the very different parenting styles set forth in each book, I realized that the
underlying question in my mind as I look to the future as a parent is: What is success? Is it attending Harvard University? Is it becoming a doctor? Is it
being emotionally sound and getting along with others? I realized that I, like every other parent,
must create my own definition of success.

So I decided,
true success for my daughter will stem from defining characteristics of who she
will be—being a good person and a caring and empathetic human being, and
letting her find what defines her own happiness. And now, I realize that being
a successful parent will come from instilling in her the basic life skills that my
parents taught me.
With these ideas as my foundation, I have no doubt that I will find
success as a parent. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

socialsklz:-) has locations on the Upper East Side, Upper West Side, Tribeca and Brooklyn. For more information, visit
socialsklz.com.

Relevant Directory Listings

See More

LIU Summer Sports Camps

<p>This July and August, young athletes will have the chance to participate in week-long athletic camps at Long Island University designed to connect them with NCAA Division I coaches to learn fundamentals and help improve their skills -- all while having fun and making lifelong friends. Camps are open to children entering grades 2-8 at any skill level. Select from 18 camps at one of our two campus locations in Brooklyn or Long Island.</p> <p> </p> <p> Sports include: Baseball, Basketball, Cheer, Dance, Esports, Fencing, Field Hockey, Football, Lacrosse, Marching Band, Soccer, Softball, Swimming, Tennis, Volleyball and Wrestling.</p>

Harvey Cav Camp

<p>At Harvey, they have created a summer camp environment that encourages campers to explore, create, discover, and learn. Their camps provide a mix of active, creative, indoor, and outdoor activities, such as technology, theater, sports, dance, the arts, nature, and so much more. </p> <p>In their camp offerings, children in grades 1st through 9th can pursue their passion, choosing from programs and activities that fit their interests.</p> <p>Guided by skilled educators and experienced professionals, children develop the confidence that comes from mastering new pursuits and meeting others with similar interests. Camp Begins June 29, 2020.</p>

Debate Camp

<p><strong>Public Speaking, Debate and Global Awareness - - coveted skills in a camp-like environment!</strong></p> <p>At Debate Camp, we provide a fun and inspiring space for youth to develop some timelessly-important skills; to hear opposing views and to confidently articulate their ideas well in the company of others.</p> <p>Debate Camp specializes in parliamentary debate, impromptu and prepared public speaking.  We ensure that all program areas are highly interactive and suited to a variety of age groups (grades 5 to 10) and multiple ability levels.</p> <p>• day camp and sleepaway camp options</p> <p>• multi-level instruction</p> <p>• suits all ability levels</p> <p>• teaching ratio 1:8</p> <p>• parliamentary debate rounds on new topics daily</p> <p>• feedback and fun!</p> <p>• all resources provided</p> <p>Debate Camp believes in a well-balanced program where an academic focus is mixed with opportunities for traditional camp games and a fun and inspiring approach to learning. 2024 day camp options for NYC families include 3 x 1 week options in Manhattan / UES location (including our NEW 3 day Model UN camp) and NEW 1 week Overnight Debate Camp options in Maine & Rhode Island (with r/t transportation options from NY Penn Station)  All details on: https://www.debatecamp.com/newyork</p> <p> </p>