One of the best aspects of having a child in nursery school is that, perhaps for the first time, they’ll have teachers who will be a regular part their lives. Assuming that they’re good and caring teachers (and why not assume that?), they’ll help your child navigate a wider social world, and help you to better understand and raise your toddler. You could imagine what a welcome ally someone like that, a trained professional who knows our child well and is invested in their well-being, is.
My children, now ages 12 and 9, were blessed with nursery school teachers and a school director like that, and when I first came upon the book I Brake for Meltdowns: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of Your 2- to 5-Year-Old, I relished the idea that it was co-written by a beloved early childhood educator (Barbara O’Neal) and a mom from her children’s center (Michelle Nicholasen), who evidently was an appreciative beneficiary of the director’s 30-plus years of frontline experience and wisdom.
The book was first published in 2008, and I have no idea whether it’s stayed popular enough to weather successive waves of new parents to remain on the shelves in the bookstores. (You can find it on Amazon.) But if it sounds like something you need, I’d recommend it–there’s comfort in just knowing it’s around the house.
My recollection is that I Brake For Meltdowns is most useful on a case-by case-basis–and usually after the fact. Your child, for example, goes ballistic the supermarket; what’s your strategy next time? But depending on your appetite for advice, you can also read up on challenges you know are in your near future, potty training being an obvious one.
I found a helpful review of the book, which liked how it “does not advocate a family where the children rule, but instead encourage parents to actually be parents by helping you to set limits (which you decide work best for your family) and pinpoint the best method of communication that will work to get through to your individual children.” I agree with that characterization.
There are zillions of helpful books on maternity and new parenting, but not so many on parenting children 2 to 5, when we still have plenty of moments when a little outside support and perspective and advice can be very helpful.
A good book is no substitute for a good teacher, of course, but I’m sure you’ll find enough gems of advice in I Brake For Meltdowns to help you do just that.
Eric Messinger is the Editor of New York Family.
