The Second Time Around

Illustration by Justin Winslow

My husband likes to tell people that when we had our first child while living on the Upper West Side, we could still consider ourselves relatively hip Manhattanites; with the birth of our second, we conceded the borough and moved to Brooklyn; when our third baby came along, we emigrated to Canada.

Like many before us, we had moved to NYC when we were carefree and kid-free. I would spend my days staking out coffee houses in which to prepare for my graduate seminars. On bad hair days, I would traipse to the Meatpacking District and line up for fancy, experimental haircuts at Bumble and Bumble’s training salon. Book readings! Wine tastings! SummerStage! The city was at my leisure.

Ten years and three kids later, bad hair seemed permanently affixed to the top of my head. My social life, like my hair, was largely unkempt. Often, as I was schlepping the double stroller and an uncooperative kindergartner up the four-story walk-up in our Brooklyn brownstone, I would nurse a suburban fantasy or two, mostly the kind involving a garage. A breaking point came one Saturday when we had rented a minivan to head upstate for the weekend. We had just crossed over the Hudson when our 3-year-old shouted out, “WE ARE IN THE COUNTRY!” We crushed his excitement by assuring him that no, we were most certainly not in the country; we were in Hackensack.

And so, when a career opportunity presented itself in Ontario a couple of years ago, my husband and I didn’t hesitate to start packing. Look, kids! We’re Canadian! We drove north toward our new life and dove right in. Ice skating on the canal, barbecue in the backyard, neighbors with kids who would drop by with baked goods and beer, culture, diversity, interesting, talented, and multilingual people, beautiful architecture. Long story short, we loved living there.

Now, here’s the part of the story that made me realize I was a true New Yorker: A mere six months into our Canadian revelry, we were offered an opportunity to move back to New York, and we took it. I hadn’t felt like there was all that much we were missing out on and yet…

There was an evening in Ontario when I found myself walking home alone. The streets were quiet, there wasn’t a person or a car in sight, and many of the houses had darkened windows. My heart started to race and I could taste adrenaline in my mouth. I wasn’t afraid necessarily, but the emptiness of the street was overwhelming, and I sprinted home.

I missed the crowd, or, more precisely, “the certainty of others,” to borrow a line from the great Walt Whitman. It was a phrase he used to articulate being a part of masses of people bound to each other by virtue of existing together in a common space across time. “The certainty of others” gets at the kind of clarity of consciousness that comes readily to me in New York, waiting on the subway platform or wading through dense, peopled streets—how extraordinary, I think, that we are all here, together.

I missed riding a busy train during rush hour. I missed people-watching on our stoop and joking with my kids about the secret lives of the strangers that passed us by—a spy dressed in all black, a circus clown late for the show. I missed going from point A to point B with the possibility of encountering a dozen impromptu mini-adventures along the route. The whole city, I realized, was a story that I missed.

Looking back, I think I had to leave so that I could return and begin again, on my own terms. Moving to Canada was a way for me to choose New York City once more, this time as an adult and as a mother, rather than have it be something that I fell into unwittingly.

In the end, I had to leave so that I could come home. And, let’s face it, my kids were never going to be great on hockey skates.

Sarah Torretta Klock is a writer and photographer who lives in Brooklyn with her husband, three kids, a cat, and two turtles.

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Capitol Debate Summer Camps

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Capitol Debate warmly welcomes middle and high school students to our transformative debate and public speaking programs. 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Here's a closer look at our focused training approach:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /><br /></span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"> </p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: underline; -webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In Public Speaking, our focus areas include:</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Voice Projection:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Teaching students to speak clearly and audibly.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Voice Modulation:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Varying pitch and tone for emphasis and effect.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Articulation:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ensuring clarity and precision in speech.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Passion:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Encouraging expressive, enthusiastic delivery.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Use of Emphasis and Pauses:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Enhancing speech dynamics for impact.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Confidence:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Building self-assurance in public speaking.</span></p> <p><strong id="docs-internal-guid-059348ae-7fff-6219-67e5-728bc2a0e47d" style="font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: underline; -webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For Body Language, we emphasize:</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eye Contact:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Engaging with the audience visually.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hand Gestures:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Using gestures to reinforce messages.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Body Movements:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Incorporating movement for emphasis.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Body Postures:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Maintaining a confident, approachable stance.</span></p> <p><strong style="font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: underline; -webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We train students in:</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Powerful Openings:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Captivating the audience from the start.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Clear Statement of Claims:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Presenting arguments concisely.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Backing Claims with Reasoning and Supporting Materials:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Strengthening arguments with evidence.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Extemporaneous Speaking:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Developing the ability to speak spontaneously and coherently.</span></p> <p><strong style="font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: underline; -webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In Debate, our focus includes:</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cross-Examination:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Skillfully questioning and clarifying points.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Refutation:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Effectively countering arguments.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Powerful Closings:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Concluding debates with impact.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ethos, Pathos, Logos:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Utilizing these persuasive techniques.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Persuasion:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Convincing the audience through logical argumentation.</span></p> <p><strong style="font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: underline; -webkit-text-decoration-skip: none; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Soft Skills - The 7 Cs:</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; 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margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Character:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Cultivating integrity, responsibility, and ethical behavior.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Comradery:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Building friendships and peer support networks.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Critical Thinking:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Developing analytical skills for thoughtful decision-making.</span></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 12pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Creativity:</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Encouraging innovative thinking and unique expression.</span></p> <p><strong style="font-weight: normal;"> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our 'summer camp first' philosophy means we blend rigorous learning with fun activities that foster teamwork, build friendships, and promote diverse perspectives. Students leave with not only new skills but also lasting memories and friendships.</span></p> <p> </p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Join us at Capitol Debate this summer and watch your child transform into a confident, articulate, and critical thinker, equipped to make a positive impact.</span></p>