The twins and I were recently discussing all the upcoming events we have on our calendar—birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, the holidays. During our discussion, my son had an epiphany. "Ma, I don't want any Christmas presents this year. I want to give them all to poor children."

What? This shocked me. "Johnny, are you sure?" He replied, "Yes, let's write Santa a letter right now." 

Armed with a pen and piece of paper, he wrote a letter to Mr. Claus (first grade handwriting and all). We put it in an envelope and I promised to mail it to the North Pole the next morning. My daughter however, his twin, totally missed the generosity cue. The concept went right over her 6-year-old head.

That evening, I discussed my son's letter at length with my husband and we agreed—no presents from Santa for Johnny. If he was going to be generous, we were going to support his wishes. Soon, my Aunt Vivian got wind of the letter (and his request) and decided to write Johnny a reply as Santa. When he read it, his face lit up and he immediately stuffed the note into his pocket to show his friends.

My son's charitable spirit may be impressive for a child his age, but it's something that we have been instilling in our kids since they were small. A few years ago, as a way of clearing out the toy insanity that was our 650-square-foot apartment, I decided that the twins and I would sort through and donate the items that were in good working order, but hardly played with anymore. Sure, eBay crossed my mind, but I think the better lesson was in giving, not business.  

I started off by explaining to the kids how lucky they were. And that while some children get several gifts for the holidays (like them), others get nothing at all. Now, it was their turn to do something nice for someone else.

We made three piles: Keep. Throw away. Donate. I was amazed at their generosity. Believe it or not, they had decided to give most things away.

After their final decisions were made, we took a trip over to the New York City Rescue Mission on Lafayette Street to donate the items in person. The staff was so pleased! Their gratitude surely injected my twins with the "giving bug."  I didn't realize it then, but this moment planted tiny giving seeds that I would watch sprout over the next few years.

But let's get one thing straight: I'm not saying that my kids aren't your typical hyped-up holiday tots. They, too, love to rip the wrapping off of anything with their name on it. What I am saying is that after all is said and done, they choose to give some of their brand new, unopened goodies to children who are less fortunate. I never asked them to do it; they came up with this system all on their own.

But how? I think there is a word for this—imprinting. Webster's describes it as a rapid learning process that takes place early in the life of a social animal and establishes a behavior pattern. Perhaps all my volunteer work has rubbed off on my kids. Just maybe, my random acts of kindness didn't go unnoticed. An initial imprint was made by my parents—who are very active community and church volunteers— onto me, and now I pass it onto my twins.

Parenting professionals always say "lead by example" and that is what you need to do. If you want to have generous children, instead of writing a check to your local charity, why not donate some of your valuable time? Talk to your children about others who are in need. Enlighten and teach them about their good fortune in both health and possessions.

I sometimes wonder if my children are more generous simply because they are twins. I was lucky in this way— there were very few lessons to teach about sharing since they have been sharing straight from the womb. They shared a bed as infants, they shared many toys as toddlers and they continue to share me as their mother. I'm lucky that my lap is wide enough to still accommodate two little bottoms! (This is my excuse for why I don't hit the gym harder.)

It could be that their good-hearted nature happened in utero when they discovered that they were one part of a whole. I'm proud of my twins. To me, parenting success is exactly what I have now. I achieved it when I read my son's letter.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.

Launching the global online network for parents of multiples, Twiniversity, and producing Multiplicity, the must-have magazine for parents of multiples, Natalie Diaz is on a mission to help families with twins, triplets and quads alike. She is also a full-time mom raising 6-year-old twins in NYC with her husband, John.

PHOTO CREDIT: JANE GOODRICH

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THE GIVING STARTS HERE

Donate brand new items this holiday season. Here are three organizations with wish lists of their own.

Covenant House covenanthouse.org
Baby Clothes
Clothing For First Job Interviews
Underwear & Socks (Teens)

New York City Rescue Mission nycrescue.org
Bath Towels
Canned Goods
Shampoo

Women In Need women-in-need.org
Diapers (All Sizes)
Toiletries
Twin-Size Bedding