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Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Sleep On It
Armed With Research-Based Methods, NYC’s Dream Team Is Helping Little Ones—And Their Weary Parents—Get A Good Night’s Rest
In
Gina and Brian Waldman’s apartment building, the doorman puts his
finger to his lips. “They’re trying to get the baby to sleep,” he
whispers. The baby he so quietly refers to is 23-month-old Gavin, the
Waldmans’ son, who has earned something of a reputation in the building
for being a, well, sensitive sleeper.
“He’s very cute, but he doesn’t sleep,” says Brian. “Gavin goes to sleep every single night at 6 p.m. and he wakes up at 3:30 in the morning for the day.” The Waldmans have tried everything, but Gavin still wakes in the middle of the night. So they’ve developed an alternating schedule. Brian wakes up at 3:20 a.m., ready for Gavin’s cries, which come like clockwork. Then father and son stay up until 6 a.m., when Gina will take over so Brian can grab some sleep before the two parents head off to work. The next night, Gina wakes at 3:30.
But tonight is different. Tonight, sleep trainer Elizabeth Ruebman is here, and already she’s helped the Waldmans feed, bathe and put Gavin to bed without a pacifier. No, she’s not a miracle worker. She’s a member of the Dream Team, a New York-based group of toddler and infant sleep consultants who help parents teach their children how to achieve healthy sleep patterns.
From Dr. Sears to Supernanny, it seems everyone these days has advice for parents on how get their children to sleep, and methods range from co-sleeping to crying it out. Yet despite the ready availability of books, articles and even television shows on the subject, parents remain as confused about sleep as ever. As one of several groups answering the call for help in NYC, the Dream Team creates individually-tailored sleep training plans that may or may not include feeding adjustments, nap adjustments, check-in calls and wake-up celebrations when the baby sleeps through the night. It never involves cry-it-out.
“No one really teaches you how to teach your kids to sleep,” says Gina, who works part-time as a senior account manager at Manhattan Media. “[Gavin’s older brother, Jared] was such a great sleeper that I was like, what do you mean ‘teach your kids to sleep’? Kids sleep! I never heard of this stuff.”
Many new parents feel the same way. “A lot of people roll their eyes at the idea because they’re not a parent who needs a [consultation],” says Conner Herman, co-founder of Dream Team and mother of two. “[But many parents] have a problem and it’s out of control.”
That’s where trained consultants like Ruebman come in. Dream Team consultants stay overnight in parents’ homes and help them through the sleep learning process for two weeks.
“I’m going to leave them a schedule and talk about what they should do tomorrow,” says Ruebman, who arrived an hour before bedtime. “By the time I go, there’s nothing they can’t do by themselves.”
Ruebman talks to the Waldmans about REM cycles and how, as we get older, we learn to put ourselves back to sleep rather than rely on our parents to help us do it. It’s all quite technical and science-driven, which comforts Brian, who admits to being a skeptic. After all, it does sound odd—someone coming into your home to help you put your kid to bed.
“It’s like having a personal trainer if you wanted to get in shape or train for something,” says Kira Ryan, co-founder and also a mother of two. “Having someone there when you’re in the gym is so much more motivating than having an audio recording or a book next to you.”
But the consultants don’t just encourage you; they, along with a team of experts, help you figure out what’s going on with your child. In order to do this, the Dream Team requires a lot of information. In addition to a family interview, the Waldmans filled out logs that included exact times and information about Gavin’s feedings, naps and screaming at night. All children who will undergo a Dream Team program require a pediatrician’s sign-off.
If there’s a question concerning the child’s health or development, that’s where the Dream Team’s advisory board comes in—a board made up of a pediatrician, a lactation consultant, a behavioral analyst, a psychotherapist, a nurse practitioner and other medical professionals. Consultants will run questions by the appropriate expert to ensure the customized sleep training plan is truly the best plan for the child.
“There’s so much bad information out there and people are just too exhausted to sort through it,” says Herman. “Regardless of family situation, we are prepared, and if [there] is a surprise we have someone we can fall back on.”
As their business has grown, Herman and Ryan have trained more consultants, many of whom are former clients. They’ve also expanded their services; there are phone consultations, the founders are working on a book and starting online sleep intensive workshops.
“It’s not going to be overnight. I don’t have fairy dust that I sprinkle on the babies; I just get them on the right schedule,” says Ruebman. “It helps you get in the mindset, ‘We’re about to make a change.’”
And the fact that change can happen at any stage is a key part of the Dream Team’s philosophy.
“You really can work on sleep at any age,” says Ryan. “It’s never too late to teach your child how to be a better, more independent sleeper.”
Their message and methods ring loud and clear to families like the Waldmans. “It’s such a comfort to have someone here,” says Gina. “The minute we hung up the phone after the consultation, I finally knew that hope was in sight.”
For more info, visit dreamteambaby.com.
“He’s very cute, but he doesn’t sleep,” says Brian. “Gavin goes to sleep every single night at 6 p.m. and he wakes up at 3:30 in the morning for the day.” The Waldmans have tried everything, but Gavin still wakes in the middle of the night. So they’ve developed an alternating schedule. Brian wakes up at 3:20 a.m., ready for Gavin’s cries, which come like clockwork. Then father and son stay up until 6 a.m., when Gina will take over so Brian can grab some sleep before the two parents head off to work. The next night, Gina wakes at 3:30.
But tonight is different. Tonight, sleep trainer Elizabeth Ruebman is here, and already she’s helped the Waldmans feed, bathe and put Gavin to bed without a pacifier. No, she’s not a miracle worker. She’s a member of the Dream Team, a New York-based group of toddler and infant sleep consultants who help parents teach their children how to achieve healthy sleep patterns.
From Dr. Sears to Supernanny, it seems everyone these days has advice for parents on how get their children to sleep, and methods range from co-sleeping to crying it out. Yet despite the ready availability of books, articles and even television shows on the subject, parents remain as confused about sleep as ever. As one of several groups answering the call for help in NYC, the Dream Team creates individually-tailored sleep training plans that may or may not include feeding adjustments, nap adjustments, check-in calls and wake-up celebrations when the baby sleeps through the night. It never involves cry-it-out.
“No one really teaches you how to teach your kids to sleep,” says Gina, who works part-time as a senior account manager at Manhattan Media. “[Gavin’s older brother, Jared] was such a great sleeper that I was like, what do you mean ‘teach your kids to sleep’? Kids sleep! I never heard of this stuff.”
Many new parents feel the same way. “A lot of people roll their eyes at the idea because they’re not a parent who needs a [consultation],” says Conner Herman, co-founder of Dream Team and mother of two. “[But many parents] have a problem and it’s out of control.”
That’s where trained consultants like Ruebman come in. Dream Team consultants stay overnight in parents’ homes and help them through the sleep learning process for two weeks.
“I’m going to leave them a schedule and talk about what they should do tomorrow,” says Ruebman, who arrived an hour before bedtime. “By the time I go, there’s nothing they can’t do by themselves.”
Ruebman talks to the Waldmans about REM cycles and how, as we get older, we learn to put ourselves back to sleep rather than rely on our parents to help us do it. It’s all quite technical and science-driven, which comforts Brian, who admits to being a skeptic. After all, it does sound odd—someone coming into your home to help you put your kid to bed.
“It’s like having a personal trainer if you wanted to get in shape or train for something,” says Kira Ryan, co-founder and also a mother of two. “Having someone there when you’re in the gym is so much more motivating than having an audio recording or a book next to you.”
But the consultants don’t just encourage you; they, along with a team of experts, help you figure out what’s going on with your child. In order to do this, the Dream Team requires a lot of information. In addition to a family interview, the Waldmans filled out logs that included exact times and information about Gavin’s feedings, naps and screaming at night. All children who will undergo a Dream Team program require a pediatrician’s sign-off.
If there’s a question concerning the child’s health or development, that’s where the Dream Team’s advisory board comes in—a board made up of a pediatrician, a lactation consultant, a behavioral analyst, a psychotherapist, a nurse practitioner and other medical professionals. Consultants will run questions by the appropriate expert to ensure the customized sleep training plan is truly the best plan for the child.
“There’s so much bad information out there and people are just too exhausted to sort through it,” says Herman. “Regardless of family situation, we are prepared, and if [there] is a surprise we have someone we can fall back on.”
As their business has grown, Herman and Ryan have trained more consultants, many of whom are former clients. They’ve also expanded their services; there are phone consultations, the founders are working on a book and starting online sleep intensive workshops.
“It’s not going to be overnight. I don’t have fairy dust that I sprinkle on the babies; I just get them on the right schedule,” says Ruebman. “It helps you get in the mindset, ‘We’re about to make a change.’”
And the fact that change can happen at any stage is a key part of the Dream Team’s philosophy.
“You really can work on sleep at any age,” says Ryan. “It’s never too late to teach your child how to be a better, more independent sleeper.”
Their message and methods ring loud and clear to families like the Waldmans. “It’s such a comfort to have someone here,” says Gina. “The minute we hung up the phone after the consultation, I finally knew that hope was in sight.”
For more info, visit dreamteambaby.com.
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© 2012, New York Family, Manhattan Media
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