This quartet of four friends—three moms and one a mom-to-be—originally met while working at the “TODAY” show a little over a decade ago. At the time, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner, both producers, and Amy Robach, a co-anchor for “Weekend TODAY” and a “TODAY” national correspondent, were well on their way in the careers they always wanted to have in the city they always hoped to live in, while Sara Haines was working as a production coordinator for the show, happy to have a steady paycheck while pursuing her ambitions of becoming a comic actress. They all now joke about how, when a reorganization of 30 Rock displaced Robach from her private office and moved her to a cubicle near Haines’, her original comment about her new digs was in the vein of: “This is just temporary.” But now, when Robach reflects back on those days when she first really got to know the other three, she says, in all seriousness: “It was the best few months of my life.”
A lot has happened with the four friends in the years between then and now.
Ybarbo and Zoellner, who are both still at “TODAY” (and have both won multiple Emmys) are co-authors of several popular and wildly different books for parents: An excellent read for newbies called TODAY’s Moms: Essentials For Surviving Baby’s First Year, and a tongue-in-cheek survival guide for all parents called Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us, which uses humor to champion an anti-perfectionistic approach to raising kids. Their next volume of sh*tty advice, scheduled for publication in April, is Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons: Half-@ssing It All Year Long.
Robach moved from “TODAY” to “Good Morning America” (she’s currently the show’s news anchor) in 2012, and became part of the news cycle herself in the fall of 2013, when she underwent an on-air mammogram for a segment called “GMA Goes Pink” and was subsequently diagnosed with breast cancer. This year she published an inspiring memoir about her experience with cancer called Better: How I Let Go of Control, Held On to Hope, and Found Joy in My Darkest Hour.
And Haines did become an entertainer of sorts, first as a third wheel to Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb during “TODAY’s” fourth hour, and now as an ABC News correspondent, who often covers lighter lifestyle topics for GMA. “Whenever they need someone who will hop in a bubble and roll down the street or something…they’re like: ‘We’ll call Sara,’” she explains.
Husbands and children have become part of the mix as well. Ybarbo is married with a 12-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter; Zoellner is married with two girls, ages 11 and 9; Haines is married and expecting her first child in early March; and Robach is married to the actor-entrepreneur Andrew Shue (who rose to fame as a star on “Melrose Place” and went on to co-found the website CafeMom and the non-profit organization Do Something)—she has two daughters, ages 13 and 9, from her first marriage and three step-sons, ages 19, 17, and 12, from Shue’s first marriage.
As you read the following excerpts from our interview with Haines, Robach, Ybarbo, and Zoellner, try to keep in mind what you don’t hear or see: Their easy familiarity with each other, their big laughs, and their appreciative tears. Read closely and you’ll hear the music of a special kind of love.
On What Each Other Is Like
New York Family: Let’s share. What’s Alicia like?
Robach: Alicia is always laughing. She’s a jacked-up cheerleader. No matter what was going on—and it’s a stressful environment to work in a newsroom and to work the hours we work and have the pressure we have—Alicia just did it all with humor and positivity. She’s just someone you want to be around—it’s infectious. When Alicia walks in a room, the room gets happier. It’s like a party. She has a party surrounding her.
New York Family: What’s Amy like?
LAUGHTER!
Haines: Amy is like a teenage boy—and I mean that in the best way. She eats like one, she parties like one, she talks like one! She’s also a friend like a dude. She has all the best qualities of a woman in regards to supporting you, but she doesn’t want drama, she doesn’t want to gossip, she doesn’t want to sit around and be a girly-girl.
New York Family: She’s like the ideal person.
Everyone: She is the ideal person!
New York Family: Okay, what’s Mary Ann like?
Ybarbo: Mary Ann has the biggest optimism out of anyone I know. She sees the best out of every single person.
Robach: Mary Ann has the biggest heart, I think, of anyone I’ve met. It’s always open for business… She’s just an awesome person to work with. We’ve had some really, really fun times on the road.
Zoellner: Really fun times!
New York Family: What comes to mind?
Zoellner: Vegas! Stiletto Spy School [which offers weekend adventures in the glamorous side of the spy life]!
New York Family: Please elaborate.
Zoellner: We had the absolute best time you can ever have on a shoot because we’re doing things like [learning] how to play poker, and how to mix cocktails…
Robach: And there were unloaded guns—unloaded guns!
Do you remember my Bond name?
Zoellner: Do I remember your Bond name? Okay, what was your Bond name?
Robach: Steady Ame!
LAUGHTER!
New York Family: What’s Sara like?
Zoellner: She’s the funniest and the smiliest! She knows everything about everything, she remembers more things about my kids than I do!
Robach: She’s the sister I never had. And now I’m getting emotional… [Tears].
Haines: If you get emotional, I’m going down with you!
On Sara’s Pregnancy And Impending Motherhood
New York Family: Sara, how’s your pregnancy going?
Haines: It was rough in the beginning. I was nauseous all the time. It’s not as bad as some women have had it, but I’m also not someone who’s loved being pregnant. Some people are like: “It’s such a blessing!” And I’m like: “I guess it is, isn’t it?” For me, everything about it—the internal things, the mood swings, the cravings—I was all good on that front. I had it all covered before. I didn’t need the baby to bring that out. So it’s been a rough ride, but medically speaking, very smooth. I’ve been very blessed.
New York Family: Are you thinking much about becoming a mom?
Haines: Right now, I’m more focused on enjoying the time before that happens. Because, clearly, once it’s motherhood you have to live it 24/7. So until that minute arrives, and I see that baby, I’m going to enjoy being me.
Robach: Can I just say: Sara is the best surrogate mom ever! Seeing her with my children—it’s a beautiful thing to witness. I remember Ava, my oldest, saying, before you knew if you were going to have a baby or not: “Sara just has to be a mom! She’ll be the best mom in the world…” Oh, I can’t wait to get to spoil your kids!
On Being A Cancer Survivor And Thriver
New York Family: Amy, you wrote a book about your journey through your cancer diagnosis and treatment. Why?
Robach: I wrote a book for a couple reasons. First of all, it was incredibly cathartic. And I also knew that by sharing my story…I would be reminding people to take their health seriously. So I felt a real calling to do it. It was incredibly emotional, it was even harder than I thought it was going to be, but I’m proud that there’s an account of it, and I know it’s helping people cope, and I know it’s saving lives.
New York Family: To circle back to the friendship factor: When it was all unfolding in real time, did you feel like you had to make your world smaller?
Robach: No, actually quite the opposite. I think that one of the biggest lessons I learned from the experience is the beauty of letting people help you… We had girls’ nights where we played board games and had sleepovers and had an “Amy’s Last Hangover Party” before I had to start chemo. And I felt the love from my girlfriends in a way that I never had before and that I never want to lose. I think it’s changed, hopefully, what kind of a friend I am. And I haven’t been perfect and we all have busy lives, but that year in my life was a complete re-set button.
Haines: I think that, even as she faced her own mortality, she wasn’t okay with leaving her girls with whatever came; and it was hard that she didn’t have control over this…
Robach: And I still don’t! I don’t know what’s going to happen in five years or in 10 years. But what I do have is right now. And one thing this has given me is the opportunity to enjoy my children—because I’m a tough mama—in a way that I hadn’t before… I’m taking Ava, for her 13th birthday, to London, just the two of us. And I never would have done that before because I would have thought that was spoiling her.
On Being “Sh*tty Moms” But Great Friends
New York Family: Are there any “Sh*tty Moms” here today?
Ybarbo and Zoellner: Hello!
New York Family: In a nutshell, what does the idea of a “Sh*tty Mom” with an asterisk mean? Why write two books about this?
Zoellner: The first one started when we were all talking about our families and how we grew up. We dedicated our first book to our moms—the original “Sh*tty Moms”—because for them it was about having a more hands-off, non-helicopter approach; that everything’s going to be alright, that you’re going to have good days and you’re going to have bad days, so let go of the guilt and realize that it’s much better to laugh about your worst moments than to cry about them. That’s No. 1—it’s a very saucy title but really it’s about your less-than-perfect parenting moments.
Ybarbo: And embracing them! I love that definition. In fact, something I constantly try to share with my kids is the idea that done is better than perfect, which is what our moms did when we were growing up. They never futzed with anything! It was already done before they thought about it. I’m not saying rush through things—I’m just saying that we don’t have to be so sighted on this idea of being perfect. It’s an unattainable goal, so why even focus on it?
New York Family: You’ve worked side by side for a long time. It sounds like you’ve even grown up as moms together?
Ybarbo: Oh, yeah, we’ve learned a lot.
Zoellner: And the first book we wrote was TODAY’s Moms.
Robach: Which is how Andrew and I met each other.
New York Family: At the book party?
Everyone: Yes!
New York Family: Was there a secret agenda to introduce Amy and Andrew?
Ybarbo: We said exactly what our intent was. We said: “Andrew’s going to come, he’s going to meet Amy, and then that’s gonna be it!”
Robach: You pushed me into hair and makeup! Like: “You need some help!”
Ybarbo: And then when he showed up at the party, all the eyeballs were on them…it was very funny.
Robach: It was like high school. They pushed us into each other and then they were like: “Hehehe!” But that book is responsible for my marriage. 100 percent.
Haines: I love that!
