I’m often asked, “How young is too young to begin teaching good manners at home?” 
The answer: it’s never “too young.” Once your children have left for school (or pre-school), they are immediately interacting with children and adults. How well (or poorly) they socialize will shape their lives.
As the parent in a lifelong relationship with your child, you are constantly teaching, disciplining, explaining good manners, and imparting some of life’s tough lessons. And a good deal of that role is as simple as leading by example. A rude, indifferent or charmless parent can’t help but influence a child. The fact that you care about your child’s social skills means you fit none of those descriptions.
Good social skills are, hands down, the most important skill set that you can teach your children. They affect how a child does at school, at home, on the playground, and ultimately in the workplace. Schools don’t teach those skills and we often assume that children will acquire them through osmosis from other children and adults. But in a world where children are adept at inadvertently avoiding interaction – on smartphones, tablets, or other electronic gadgets – it’s more vital than ever that you take a proactive approach to teaching your kids.
Making eye contact, engaging in conversation, and active listening don’t come naturally to children (or some adults), yet they’re expected to be able to master those skills early in life. This is precisely why I began the socialsklz:-) program in New York City.
While teaching college students at NYU in a public relations 101 class, I realized that many students lacked this set of skills that seemed crucial to their success. It inspired me to develop another class, titled “The Brand Called You,” where I taught students lessons including how to make a good first impression in person and online, public speaking tactics, and conversation skills. After a five years of teaching this, I realized that these lessons should begin much earlier than at the college level. Early practice makes perfect.
Each of us has our own idea of how we define success for our children. But whatever the definition, we all want our children to thrive in social settings, making a positive impression on others and able to navigate day to day social interactions. My plea to all parents is this: take the time to teach these skills. The investment will pay off in spades, at any age.
As a first step, try not to correct your kids in public by demanding: “Say you’re sorry,” “You didn’t make eye contact,” or “You didn’t say ‘Hello.’ ” That can be humiliating for a child of any age. Model the skills at home and then create fun ways they can practice, a number of suggestions can be found in my book. For example, have your child ring your front doorbell and say “hello” as if he or she were arriving for the first time for a playdate. As kids commit the inevitable blunders, find time to privately explain how best to handle that particular situation.
For more ideas on how to effectively teach these skills, in a fun and enjoyable way (no nagging required) have a look at my book, socialsklz:-) for SUCCESS: How to Give Children the Skills They Need to Thrive in the Modern World, a practical workbook for parents, or join us at one of our workshops!
