We first met Jo Frost on the hit reality show “Supernanny,” rescuing families from parenting pitfalls right in their own homes. She continued to help navigate family dynamics on TV (“Extreme Parental Guidance,” “Family SOS”) and in print through several insightful parenting guides. In her latest book, Jo Frost’s Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior, Frost gives hope to weary families, tackling the challenges of parenting toddlers with her straightforward, practical advice. Here, she shares some parenting wisdom with us.
What are the biggest mistakes made by parents?
Communication is the most important thing. We must ask ourselves: what do we expect from our children? Parents should examine their values and morals, and try to shape their children’s behavior, while understanding their kids’ needs and trying to meet those needs. If we want well-rounded children, we need to identify what is important for them to thrive and grow. These are crucial conversations parents must have, and its too late in the middle of the moment while the kids are misbehaving or having tantrums. We must communicate, validate, and listen to each other. It takes effort to talk through these things, but when you communicate, you can work though challenges and implement helpful tactics.
I also see too much polarization in parenting styles. Some parents are extremely strict, harsh, and controlling. They are unrealistic, unfair, and suffocating–and the children fight back for independence and freedom. Conversely, there are passive parents. They are pushovers. They lack assertiveness and feel like doormats. I don’t like these extremes. Some things are non-negotiable, and parents must be firm and fair. But we must remember to laugh and goof around with our kids. It’s important to have fun and enjoy parenting.
What’s your advice for exasperated parents?
Children often misbehave because they are cranky and sleep-deprived, and parents become exasperated because of their own sleep deprivation. If you don’t have the energy to effectively manage your child, ask yourself why you are so tired. It could be lack of sleep, diet, not feeling challenged, or the daily routines of raising children. Recognize these things and find solutions. I hear parents complain that their evenings are pandemonium. Returning home from work feels like a chore, the tailspin from dinner to bath to bedtime. Parents try to juggle so much that they feel overloaded and stressed out. It all takes a mental and physical toll. Parents must stop and take a moment to breathe, or sleep. A parent’s anxiety has a ripple effect on the kids. If families are stressed, children will feel it. My new book can help parents help their kids, and these things will ultimately help the whole family. It is important to educate families about mindful, disciplined parenting. I am very frank and honest with parents because I want to make a difference and help families.
Jo Frost will sign copies of Jo Frost’s Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior on March 5 at Dylan’s Candy Bar (1011 3rdAvenue) in Manhattan at 5:30pm, and on March 6 at Books and Greetings (271 Livingston Street) in Northvale, NJ at 7pm. You can visit her online at jofrost.com or follow her on Twitter @Jo_Frost.
