I am a brand new mom. But I spent the last 15 years of my life living the quintessential “single girl” life in New York City. My sole responsibility was myself, and later my Weimaraner, Mica Girl. I’ve always taken my role as mom to Mica Girl very seriously. I was the dog owner who walked Central Park rain, snow, or shine, but I didn’t have the faintest idea of what mothering another human being entailed. I never thought about which strollers were “in,” I didn’t even know that “mommy groups” existed, and didn’t have any concept of life with an infant in NYC.
Before I gave birth, I was on the phone with a dear friend who explained that in her career as a cardiologist, she doesn’t usually see patients who have “Hollywood heart attacks”–the type that cause you to faint and hit the floor. I loved the idea of a “Hollywood” descriptor. And shortly after I gave birth, I realized that I’d lived with a “Hollywood” notion of my future life as a mom here in New York City.
Prior to giving birth, I didn’t think my schedule would change that much with a baby. I’d still walk in the park every morning with my delightful pooch, strap my newborn onto me in a body sling, and go. I’d even planned to begin strolling to the office each morning in the beautiful spring weather. After all, I had moved the office a mere 10 blocks from home to take subway travel out of the equation–and to remove myself and the baby from the hustle and bustle of Union Square, where socialsklz:-) was previously located.
Reality: Although I managed to get back to the office with my baby in tow after she was a week old, arriving at the office before 1pm was nothing short of a miracle. And while walking to work with the stroller can be delightful, there are also variables to contend with: the weather, a potentially fussy baby, feedings, and then the walking home part, which after an early morning dog walk and little to no sleep at night, became a challenging task.
As for a nanny, I decided to figure that piece out when the time came that I needed one. The idea was that my sleeping baby would spend most days here at the office with me and that I’d rely on my wonderful staff of socialsklz:-) instructors to step in as needed–with additional help from my parents who live just across the Hudson River.
Reality: Babies fuss even while they sleep. This fussiness and crying in the office can equal no productivity for anyone. As I write this, one of my favorite colleagues is out of the office. She’s back at my apartment with the baby.
In preparation for the birth of our first child, my husband and I had taken a series of classes with a birthing coach over the course of a month. Armed with our breathing exercises and a hand-written birth plan, we were ready for our delivery in every sense of the word. I’d lightly prepared a pretty overnight bag for the hospital a month in advance with a few beautiful nightgowns and precious outfits for my baby girl.
Reality: My baby came 2 weeks early and while I was ready for birth and perfectly equipped with the knowledge I needed, I was ill-equipped for the actual parenting part–and my bag really wasn’t packed with the practical things I needed that might not have looked so pretty. I look back and realize that we should have perhaps taken a parenting class ahead of a birthing class. A birth is an event, parenting lasts a lifetime.
As for my new role as contributor to New York Family Baby? Eric Messinger called me to ask if I’d consider the opportunity back in March and I enthusiastically accepted. We even talked about my first blog entry and thought I’d write about my tour of Lenox Hill Hospital.
Reality: It’s taken me over three months to write my first blog entry. I’ve made a dozen attempts to do so, but every time I began I write, became distracted with one of the many new tasks that I have in my life as mom, in addition to running a business.
I am now the proud mother of a healthy, beautiful baby girl. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have become a mother–a dream I’ve had since I was a little girl, and a dream that I’ve held closely as a career woman in NYC as the years were ticking by. The gift of motherhood has forever changed me and everything I ever thought about the meaning of life. The gift of being a mom is far from the “Hollywood Motherhood” notion I had conjured in my mind over the last thirty some-odd years.
And the reality? I’m still struggling to get my last bit of weight off, I’ve gotten to the gym twice since my baby was born, my husband and I haven’t gotten to have the date nights we’d planned on every Thursday night, and working with my baby by my side in the office is simply impossible. But, seeing my brand new baby smile back at me a month ago felt like the greatest accomplishment of my life.
I look forward to sharing my journey as a new mom with New York Family, faced with a myriad of wonders and quandaries here in New York City.
Faye Rogaski, who had her very first child this spring, is the founder of Manhattan-based socialsklz:-) tools to thrive in the modern world. The program offers fun, interactive life tools for kids and young adults, including social interaction and communication skills. She is an adjunct professor at New York University, lectures throughout the tri-state area on personal branding, and is on the board of the American Heart Association. She’ll be sharing her journey as business owner, juggling the modern-day joys and quandaries as a new mom in the big city.
